To be honest I’m finding it hard to be motivated. I don’t have a definite fight set yet. I’ve been doing my lifting and athletic training. I need to build my body back strong; I have to work on my speed and agility. These are things I never worried about and took for granted in my younger years. I’m struggling with getting my training set up in Vegas. I’m kind of a guy who likes to go to the gym and be told what to do. Like college wrestling–mindless training. I fucking hate thinking and setting my shit up. Work here with him, there with him. It’s just BS that really sucks. That’s what I like about AKA. I just go there and come to the gym twice a day and next thing I know I’m in fight shape. I don’t have to plan everything out myself.
On another note I’m waiting to see about this reality show. I hope the fucking thing gets picked up so I have the opportunity to prove myself. I let them film me after surgery when I was kinda down and out coming off a loss. I let them film me because I’m confident its still not too late to turn my career around. Fuck, it will suck if there are no more episodes and they leave me hanging looking like that.
But fuck it. I’ve been through worse and have rebounded from looking worse. It is what it is and whatever happens, happens. If it’s mean to be it will be.
I’m lifting and my strength is evening out. My legs are strong. My pull is decent but my push strength is lagging. It’s not easy coming off an injury. I fucking made it worse by eating like shit and drinking a lot. But again, it is what it is. At the end of the day all that matters is how I perform next time I’m in the ring.
I’m getting a lot of offers from shows wanting me to be a stepping stone for their up and coming young stars.
One thing I am not, is a stepping stone or a pushover fight for anyone. I’m thinking of taking my first fight back in May in Canada against some young pup there trying to build. I’m going to come in there in top shape and fuck his world up. Rain on the promoters’ parade after I slap the shit out of their poster boy.
I’m on a bit of a rant. But I’m sick of this BS. I remember when I couldn’t get a fight in the UFC because nobody wanted to get KTFO. Now all these young hot shots and these promotions are contacting me to get beat. Fuck, the last time that happened it was the Japanese and PRIDE who were bringing me in to get beat. We all know how that turned out when I stomped on Minowa’s head and sent him to get his fucking shine box.
I’m figuring I’m going to join Randy’s and train at pro practice. Train Jits at Drysdales and keep lifting at PSI. That seems like a good plan. It’s three gyms but fuck it. I think thats what I’m going to do. Three really good places to train. I’m also going to stop by One Kick Nick’s when he gets back from Japan.
One thing about One Kick I just realized is he cornered me for every one of my big wins. Suloeve, Menne, Minowa Chonnan. My two biggest UFC wins and my two biggest Pride wins. WTF right? Imagine how good I would have done if I stayed with Nick. Grass was always greener on the other side for me after a loss. Shoulda stayed put. But you live and you learn. Can’t go back now although sometimes I wish I could.
You know what–fuck the negativity. I’ll be 36 soon. I’m still strong. I still have a hell of a chin. My speed is above average these days and I’ll keep working hard to improve it. I have good wrestling that I have to start using again. In fact I have real good wrestling, I just got to dust it off. I’m strong and I hit as hard as anyone in the division. In fact I’d venture to say I hit the hardest in the division with both hands. I been doing jits as long as I’ve been training. I’m a black belt in fighting jiu-jitsu. You don’t see me getting arm barred or triangled. I have great boxing and I’m working on my Muay Thai
Conditioning is the problem. It’s what I work on and worry about the most during my training camps. I’ve never been an endurance athlete. The only reason I ever lost a wrestling match growing up was fatigue. Some guys are born with natural endurance, and some like myself are not. But over the years I have learned a few tricks and I’ll be using them all. In my last fight conditioning wasn’t an issue and the fight went three rounds and it was a grinding wrestling and grappling type fight. So I can have endurance, I just have to work longer and harder than everyone else. It’s just like chin or punching power either you got or you don’t. It’s genetic I believe. But fuck it, by the right prep strategy and game plan I think after all these years I have a handle on it.
Do the most with what you got is what I always believed. I’m going to push the shit out of myself. And ride this bitch ’til the wheels fall off. I feel healthy. My body feels good. I just need to get in the gym and put it all together.
As I write this blog Im getting motivated, I still have a fire.
I see Rampage’s house on TV and think, Damn Why don’t I have nice shit like that. You know what? I still want it. I just had a few bad breaks. Things could have gone differently and I’d be where some of the successful fighters I came up with are today. Fuck it, like they say you got to roll with the punches. This blog today was kinda self-help…. I mean do you wanna hear about how I played poker and had a few beers and ended up at Little Darlings? Do you want to hear I smoked a joint ate a bunch of shitty food and laid on my couch?
Ha ha… well, maybe you do. I’ll throw some more of those stories in there as well.
I got this India trip coming up and I’m excited about it. They got elephants and tigers and shit over there. Maybe I can go on a safari. Jungle Book was about India, not Africa like everyone thinks. India has some real cool shit–stuff you can’t find anywhere else. It will be another stamp on my passport and adventure I’ll blog about.
One thing I have got out of this fighting thing is I got to see the world. That was one of the main reasons I got into this game. I’ve seen the world, met so many interesting and unique people, and had experiences I never could have even imagined. I’m very blessed to be able to do this and get paid for it. I am by no means rich and maybe I don’t have that many nice things. But I have seen the world, and I have gained so many great experiences that money cannot buy. I’ve walked to the ring and was cheered in foreign lands. I signed autographs for children and shared a bed with many exotic women. On that note, I’ll end this blog until next time. Word to your mother.